B Hen’s First “Crash Out Parlay” of the Year for NBA Opening Night

It’s that time again. The lights are bright, the lines are live, and the only thing standing between us and a solid payout is a little faith — and a lot of basketball.

Tonight, we’re not easing into the season. Nah, this is the first crash-out parlay of the year. We’re talking about that confident energy you feel when the numbers line up just right.

Let’s get to the props:

The Picks

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander: 25+ Points

Shai’s been automatic lately. The smoothest operator on the floor, and 25 feels like his floor, not his ceiling. Lock it in.

Kevin Durant: 25+ Points

KD’s got that quiet killer mode back on. He doesn’t need to say much — he just fills up the box score. Another 25-piece feels inevitable.

Luguentz Dort: Under 2.5 Threes

Sometimes you’ve got to zag where everyone else zigs. Dort can be streaky from deep, and tonight we’re betting on the slump.

Chet Holmgren: 15+ Points

Chet’s length, touch, and confidence are growing by the game. Fifteen points is well within reach — especially if the Thunder’s pace picks up.

Alperen Şengün: Double-Double

Şengün’s been a quiet fantasy darling, stuffing the stat sheet on both ends. We’re counting on the young big to keep feasting in the paint.

The Ticket

This is a clean five-leg parlay:

1. SGA 25+ points
2. Durant 25+ points
3. Dort under 2.5 threes
4. Holmgren 15+ points
5. Şengün double-double

$100 to win $1,000. That’s right — a cool G off a single bill.