Sharp or Square: Week 7 Recap, Early Week 8 Leans

If there’s one thing this NFL season keeps teaching us, it’s that betting on bad teams isn’t gambling – it’s self-harm with data. Week 7 felt like a master class in that lesson. Between the Browns’ ugly brilliance, the Titans’ hopelessness, and the Chargers’ recurring trauma, we’re just lucky to crawl out of Sunday with our dignity – and one win.

The Titans and the Myth of the Dead Cat Bounce

Now let’s talk about the pain. Our Brass Balls pick of the week, Titans +7.5, felt sharp on Tuesday and felt like a fever dream by Sunday. We convinced ourselves that firing Brian Callahan would give Tennessee that mystical dead cat bounce. Turns out, this cat wasn’t bouncing. It was roadkill.

Drake Maye carved them up like he was auditioning for the MVP race, and Cam Ward gave us the universal symbol for football incompetence: the untouched quarterback who drops the ball backwards. If they ever make a Heimlich-maneuver-style poster for team failure, that’s the image. We even tried to get AI to make one for us. It’s still not good enough to share, but trust us – it’s art.

This game was a reminder of what happens when you bet bad teams. Every path to covering includes “no big mistakes,” and every one of those teams finds new ways to invent them. You can’t out-handicap chaos.

Chargers: The Team That Quits in Style

Our official Shame of the Week goes to the Los Angeles Chargers, because no one wastes talent like they do. Herbert threw for 400 yards, sure – but that’s what happens when you’re down three touchdowns all afternoon. Every play, he’s got a defender in his grill, and every drive ends in a red zone pick or a deflating mistake.

This isn’t just a bad week. It’s a pattern. Four straight ATS losses, a defense that forgets how to tackle on third and long, and a head coach who’s already run out of ideas. For a team with this much firepower, it’s stunning how often they look uninterested.

At this point, it feels cruel. Herbert’s on the verge of joining the Chargers’ sad fraternity of great-but-unfinished quarterbacks: Dan Fouts, Philip Rivers, and maybe someday, Stan Humphries, the only one to make a Super Bowl. Justin deserves better, but betting on “deserves better” doesn’t pay.

Dak Prescott, Redemption Tour

And then there’s Dak Prescott, who’s playing like he found out Twitter still exists and he’s mad about it. Dallas rolled again, and it’s time to admit Dak’s been phenomenal. The connection with CeeDee Lamb is elite, Ferguson looks like a top-tier tight end, and even Brian Schottenheimer – yes, that Brian Schottenheimer – deserves credit for this offense.

Remember when everyone laughed at him in the offseason? We did, too. But this team is clicking, and Dak’s command is undeniable. If the Cowboys’ defense holds up, they’re legitimate contenders – and if not, they’re still printing money for anyone willing to back them before the public catches up.

The Bears, the Browns, and the Hope of Ugly Wins

Let’s give a quiet nod to the Chicago Bears, who are somehow winning games despite making their fans physically ill. Caleb Williams didn’t look comfortable in the bad weather with 15 completions, 172 yards, and a pick, but the running game is carrying them. Ben Johnson’s scheme has turned D’Andre Swift into the guy Detroit gave up on, and the offensive line has gone from punchline to powerhouse.

This team wins dirty, and that’s a compliment. They’re not flashy, but they’re resilient – and for a franchise that’s lived off nostalgia and heartbreak, that’s progress. We’re not calling them a playoff team yet, but for the first time in years, they look like one that belongs on Sundays.

Eagles Survive, Giants Collapse, and What’s Next

The Eagles, meanwhile, finally looked like themselves – or close to it. Jalen Hurts threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, but they still nearly let Minnesota steal it. The Vikings kicked five field goals in six red zone trips, Carson Wentz was a disaster under pressure, and the Eagles escaped more than they dominated. Hurts’ stat line looks shiny, but this team still feels one adjustment away from real balance.

As for the Giants? Pure collapse. Up 26-8 in the fourth quarter against Denver, and they still lost. If you ever need a textbook definition of “season-ending loss,” that was it.

Sharp or Square Picks: Early Week 8 Leans

Let’s get into a few early leans for Week 8:

• Saints +6.5 vs Bucs: Too many points for a home team that still plays hard.
• Ravens -6.5 vs Bears: Baltimore’s run game vs. Chicago’s leaky front feels cruel.
• Steelers +3 vs Packers: Classic Mike Tomlin home underdog spot.
• Eagles -7 vs Giants: Don’t overthink it; the books are begging you to.
• Maybe a little sprinkle on Denver -3 vs Dallas, if you can stomach Bo Nix again (we probably can’t).

Final Thoughts: Lessons for the Week

We always say it’s better to be lucky than good – and this week, we were lucky to be 1-2. The Browns bailed us out, the Titans and Chargers burned us (again), and our ongoing therapy sessions with bad teams continue.

So we’re doing it: Blacklisting the Titans and the Chargers. For our own mental health, they’re banned – though we all know we’ll peek at their lines next Sunday like exes on Instagram.

Next week’s a new chance to be wrong. But if betting’s taught us anything, it’s that the pain is half the fun.